dashed hopes

so I think my 8k training for ought six may be finished.

after pulling a hip muscle, and losing a week of training time for THAT, yesterday I fell and twisted my ankle. I can tell it is not broken, but it is gross and purple and swollen and sore. If the swelling doesn't go down by wednesday, i'll have to go to the doctor; even if it is gone at least 2 weeks of rest is recommended to allow the tendons and ligaments to fully heal.

that's 14 days. and the 8k is in 41. and if it doesn't get better right quick, it might be even longer.

also, i hate this job so much, i had to force myself into the office today.

PLUS, my dad's showing signs of renal insuffiency.

i am very unhappy today.

Snacks?

I love snacks, they are totally bringing my training DOWN though.

I have 47 days and I have done NOTHING all weekend. I know, logically, that every single day of training counts, but I just could not make myself get out of the house on saturday or sunday and to the gym. Or to like run around the block.

i'm too LAZY for this shiznit.

So I have forty seven days to get actually serious about this. It might only be five miles, but five miles is a lot starting from the bottom.

I think I have some kind of failure complex; I feel like i won't be able to do it, so therefore, I shall nt even try, even though I have PLENTY of time to train and get it and be ready to run an 8k. I don't know why I just can't suck it up and give training everything I have. Oh, wait, yes I do. It's a pretty common psychological phenomonon, whereupon if I do not try my hardest, then I can not be disappointed in myself if I fail.

except if i am not trying my hardest, then what's the point in trying at all?

*off to ponder*